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Saturday, December 29, 2012

Black Bun Burgers

2012 will be remembered as the year the burger buns went black.....









Sunday, December 23, 2012

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Baby Lu-Lu: The SCARIEST Record Ever Made

This is a TRUE story.

Some time in the late '60s or early '70s, a strange record appeared


I see a fence back there and I'm really hoping this cover shot was taken at a state hospital.

It gets worse. Look at the back cover. Click on it to enlarge. Read it.


You read this correctly. This was a middle aged woman, (allegedly) channeling a three year old.  

How a woman like this is loose on the streets (let alone allowed anywhere near children. Or a recording studio) is beyond me. But it takes "Born-Again Christian" to a brand new low (instead of being "born again", why don't they just GROW UP.)

I honestly don't know what it is with evangelist women and big hair, geological layers of makeup and poodles, I just don't.

But it's not just this woman who scares me like crazy. It's her enablers. Jay W. Turney, Steve Chandler, Eddie Crook and the entire staff of Electric Arts Studio of Madisonville, KY.

Mr. Turney is also this woman's husband. Whom she also refers to as "Daddy". And the oozing disgust about this record only BEGINS there.

There's nothing I can say that can illustrate this horror better than LISTENING to this record itself.

 


The 4 Stages of Christmas

The 4 Stages of Christmas:

1 - You believe in Santa Claus.

2 - You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3 - You ARE Santa Claus.

4 - You look like Santa Claus....

Christmas In The Stars


Uh-oh.......

This is the end product of crass over commercialization of a fantastically successful movie franchise (and crass over commercialization is something new Star Wars franchise owner Disney has made a fucking SCIENCE of.) A totally useless and crummy knockoff of itself.

This was among the last releases from the dying RSO Records label. RSO was still smarting from the massive failure of their first and only entry in the movie business, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Which costed the company millions to produce and millions more to promote and barely drew flies, let alone an audience at the time of it's release.

Like another upstart '70s record label and their biggest rival, Casablanca Records, RSO was a wildly successful record label gone horribly wrong. They both made a serious error on betting far too much on disco and when disco died, they were both left with massive image problems and a massive portion of their rosters of once platinum artists who suddenly couldn't sell cardboard.

On top of that, the Bee Gees had filed a $200 million lawsuit against RSO and were forced to settle out of court and the band stayed with the label until it dissolved

In fact, the only album RSO released that sold anything decently in 1980 was the Irene Cara-heavy soundtrack to the movie Fame. But RSO was still drowning in red ink.

In 1981, RSO finally yelled uncle and sold out to it's distributor, Polydor Records, who promptly dissolved the label and save the always lucrative Eric Clapton and the Bee Gees (who both had the advantage of the upper hand over their former label, which Polydor inherited, But they were also still platinum sellers outside the US), sent everyone else packing.

This record was part of a deal to distribute soundtrack albums for the Star Wars franchise. Christmas In The Stars actually sold fairly well and a second printing was planned, But RSO was so deep in debt, they couldn't even raise the capital for that.     

But the REAL kicker on this album is the last track on Side 1, "R2D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas", sung by a young lad named John Bongiovi (You may know him better as Jon Bon Jovi.) In his first professional recording.......


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Sorry......


Yes, I know I've been slacking up here lately. But I've had a very agonizing month. Lots of health problems and worst of all, chronic pain. It's very hard to concentrate and come up with fun flashbacks when inside, you really just wanna scream.

Things are settling down now and I hope to be back on the ball with even more posts from the Landfill of Time starting December 1st.

Thank you all for your concerned e-mails and comments. They really meant a lot. Yes, I am alive, but not so well. I have a lot more tests to go through next month and I may be spotty on my continuity. But I hope to be a little more productive.

Again, thank you,

Cheers,

Larry    

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Rock N' Roll Anagram Fun

An anagram is taking the letters of a name and rearranging them to spell something completely (more or less) different....

So let's take some famous musicians names and make some anagrams out of them......


Aaron Neville (Inane All Over)
Aerosmith (To Mishear)
Al Green (General)
Al Stewart (Salt Water)
Alanis Morrisette (Ole Satanist Miser or Toe Slime In Rats Ass)
Alice Cooper (Cool! A Recipe)
Amy Grant (Ran At Gym or Gnat Army)
Avril Lavigne (Vain Villager)
Axl Rose (Oral Sex)
Bangles (Ban Legs)
The Beatles (Stab The Eel)
Belinda Carlisle (Indelible Rascal)
Bonnie Raitt (Nairobi Tent)
Britney Spears (Presbyterians)
Carly Simon (Moan Lyrics)
Carole King (Genial Rock)
The Carpenters (Peter Snatcher)
The Cars (The Scar)
Cyndi Lauper (Nearly Cupid)
Deana Carter (A Cat Rear End)
Dio (I Do or Do I)
Dion (No ID)
Faith Hill (Hail Filth)
Faith No More (Moron Thief)
Foo Fighters (Go Offer Shit)
Green Day (Near Edgy)
Gretchen Wilson (The Clown Singer)
Gwen Stefani (I Get New Fans)
Hall And Oates (Ethanol Salad)
Janis Ian (Is A Ninja)
Jim Morrison (Mr. Mojo Risin')
Meat Loaf (Fame? A lot)
Metallica (Camel Tail)
Motley Crue (My Cruel Toe)
Nancy Sinatra (A Racist Nanny)
Natalie Cole (Anal Toe Lice)
Paul McCartney (Pay Mr. Clean Cut)
Pearl Jam (Maple Jar)
Peter, Paul And Mary (Dye A Tan Ram Purple)
Plastic Ono Band (Cannibals Do Pot)
The Ramones (The Moaners)
REO Speedwagon (Renegade Swoop)
Rod Stewart (Rated Worst)
Ronettes (Teens Rot)
The Smiths (Them Shits)
Steely Dan (Ten Slay Ed)
Steve Miller Band (Timberland Elves)
Stevie Nicks (I Sicken Vets)
System Of A Down (Fast New Sodomy)
Tanya Tucker (Tacky Nature)
Tori Amos (Is A Motor)
Trisha Yearwood (Sweaty Hair Odor)
Used (Sued)
Van Halen (Hen Navel)
Yellow Card (Yell Coward)

Election Day Hits: "Vote With A Bullet" Corrosion Of Conformity (1991)





Thursday, November 01, 2012

The Soundesign Trendsetter 7


I've never been a fan of Soundesign. Especially their super chintzy '80s systems.

However in the '70s, Soundesign, while still an overall lowbrow electronics firm, did have the distinction of daring to be, um, different. And that's where we find this beast..

The Trendsetter 7 (which thankfully didn't set any trends) was a 200 lb disco themed monstrosity with an automatic three speed (33, 45 and 78 RPM) BSR turntable, AM/FM Stereo receiver, cassette and 8-Track tape decks that looked more like a jukebox than a home stereo system.

With the lighting system on in a darkened room, it looked like a real party starter


The amplifier pumped out a reasonable 50 watts per channel (perhaps the most powerful amplifiers Soundesign ever made) and was perfect for your inner Disco Stu.

But it IS a Soundesign product and while light years better than anything they made in the '80s, it did have some major drawbacks. The phono cartridge was ceramic and prone to picking up external vibrations. The tape decks got gummy with heavy use. The radio was actually very good and unusually selective and sensitive on FM. The AM section, while wide-band and very good fidelity wise had pretty crummy distant reception and selectivity, the stronger local AM signals tended to dominate. The cabinet was horrendously cheap, made of particle board and fell apart easily. With both speakers housed the same cabinet underneath, the bass was especially boomy.

Later models of this system were much smaller and had the speakers enclosed behind flashing lights.


 One model also had a overhead light with a small mirrored ball.

These stereos were never big sellers and the ones that were sold were usually destroyed after the disco bust. Finding a complete, intact unit is extremely rare and the few surviving ones that are in good condition sell for quite a bit.


The Nestles Jingle

The horrendous (and creepy) Nestle's jingle from the late '80s.....

Back in school, we made a joke about it: "What comes out your ass/N-E-S-T-L-E-S......"



Election Day Hits: "The Politics Of Dancing" Re-Flex (1983)


Well, with Halloween over and Election Day coming up, it's time to dig through the archives for songs about politics And there's NO shortage of those either.....

I'll start with the ULTIMATE song about politics, a 1983 dance pop classic from a UK band called Re-Flex. This was their only US hit.......

Monday, October 29, 2012

Halloween Hits: "Tubular Bells" Mike Oldfield (1973)



Who knew Mike Oldfield, a guy who's very name is linked to this Halloween hit is also the same guy behind this catchy Lost Pop Classic (from 1983):






North Korean TV Commercials

Check out the female voice over on them.....she sounds like your North Korean fairy godmother......

This one is for ginseng:


Here's one for a quail restaurant in Pyongyang (the fairy godmother female voice over sounds orgasmic on this one.) And a quail restaurant? In a nation where 2/3rds of it's citizens starve.....Hmmmmm......:


 Here's a North Korean beer commercial (you mean they actually HAVE beer in North Korea?):

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Terrytoons

Before there was Bugs Bunny or even Disney, there was Terrytoons.

                             

Terrytoons was a cartoon studio that made cartoons between 1916 and 1968, originally for movie theatres, later becoming the first "straight to video" company, making it's cartoons available for home film projectors in the '30s.

Terrytoons were the "cheap" cartoon studio of the '20s to '60s. Whereas Warner Brothers and Disney became famous for Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse respectively, Universal for Woody Woodpecker and Paramount for Popeye, there were few stars on Terrytoons. Most notably Mighty Mouse and Heckle & Jeckle, both didn't come out until the '40s.

And cheap Terrytoons was. Whereas most cartoons had sound by 1928, Terrytoons were still silent until 1930 and in black and white until 1942. They were syndicated to TV from the '50s to the '80s and I remember watching many Terrytoons cartoons when I was a kid. Even as a little kid, Terrytoons were pretty sucky and lame compared to the Bugs Bunny cartoons I loved.

Here's one example of how Terrytoons were in their early days. In 1930 they made this atrocity "Chop Suey", probably one of their first sound cartoons - this is a French copy in English with German sub-titles (they were STILL showing THIS on TV in the '70s!):




(Note the scene at 00:50 where the two rats approach the Chinese laundry to pick up some OPIUM to smoke from the cat inside. They get wasted, drop their pipes and then drift away on the clouds of smoke.....)

Cartoons were as racist then as America was in those days. But who ever knew they blatantly promoted drug use!

Another Terrytoon feature (and the reason WHY I hated them - Mighty Mouse.)

                                     

Speaking of Terrytoons and drugs.....:

Krazy Kat


Friday, October 26, 2012

And now, a walk down the soda aisle of yesteryear...

cheers!
      
     
     
      
     
All of the above photos and more memories @ http://www.usasoda.com/
Here's more:
MY-TE-FINE (a brand distributed by Fred Meyer stores):
My-Te-Fine root beer




















From http://www.rootbeerworld.com/ & Toby Singer.
Sunny Jim (a Washington State brand, more famous for their Peanut Butter. But they also branched out into other goods including canned foods and bread):
Sunny Jim root beer

Cragmont (a Safeway brand)::
Cragmont root beer